The same-sex couple raising two beauties...

The weekend nights out and ‘gay’ scene very soon became tiresome and we longed to see a bit of the world and then settle down. We travelled to Thailand, South Africa, East and West Coast USA and lots of European countries. About four years into our relationship one of our best friends had a baby, we visited, we held the baby and we both looked at each other - at that moment we knew as soon as we held that baby that that was what we wanted. As a gay woman thinking about having children isn’t something I thought would be possible, in fact up to that very point I hadn’t even considered it. I mean how do you even start without half the required biology on tap? And who has the money for IVF? I am one for a challenge however and I frantically researched how we could achieve a dream of our own child. It was possible, it could happen, we just needed to have faith and commit. 

Our conception journey took a long four years, we both tried to conceive and failed time and time again - this was financially, physically and emotionally draining.  You think it’s the world trying to tell you something; you think it’s your fault; you think it’ll never happen and month by month you loose the excitement, you lose a bit of yourself.  The journey was heartbreaking, I think wanting to have a baby and it failing at every try is soul destroying and I can not send enough love to those struggling to conceive. It is the one thing in life you want but can not achieve through hard work and determination - it is down to biology. Finally, four long years later and after uncountable procedures, I fell pregnant and had a beautiful baby girl and now three and a half years later have just given birth to a little boy. As same-sex soon to be parents we obviously thought about acceptance.  How our child and we would be accepted in certain circles; would our child be bullied; how would we introduce the fact we are a gay couple to other parents; is it fair on the child and were we strong enough? 

We are very lucky to live in a time where gay people are more accepted than they were some years ago, but at the same time people are cruel and there are still people and places where our sexuality would result in bullying, bodily harm or worse.  It’s not acceptable that people living in certain countries could never have what I have now without fear of or actual harm coming to them. It’s not acceptable that people have to hide their true selves because of other's views.  

 

We are lucky to have met some amazing people since becoming parents, we haven’t had any negativity and I’d love to think it will stay that way but I’m not that naive that I can nonchalantly ignore the potential that it might change. I hope this world and the people in it continue (at a faster rate) to develop acceptance of differences and more so embraces them. I hope my children are a part of the change and they encourage those around them to be the people that embrace differences and protect those that are at risk.   

To anyone out there in the same position and thinking about embarking on a journey to become parents in a same-sex couple - it’s possible, it’s worth it - parenthood has changed our lives and we couldn’t be happier.